Why Can’t We Just Meet In The Middle?

Why Can’t We Just Meet In The Middle?

by | Jan 19, 2020 | Family Law

No one imagines that their marriage will end in divorce, and when it does happen, most pray and hope that their divorce will be seamless. Why not just split assets evenly and amicably? After all, isn’t heartbreak painful enough to endure? Why add more difficulty to the situation?

But why does it seem impossible to meet in the middle? Unfortunately, the process of separation often becomes more combative than procedural. Lovers turn into enemies; a relationship that began as the art of seduction ends as the art of war. As the old adage goes, “Love and hate are one in the same coin.”

We’ve all heard of funny or horrific stories of parties acting out of spite or pettiness during divorce litigation. As we listen, we wonder how grown adults come to behave so childishly, in an effort to make someone they once loved now feel bad.

What if you find yourself in a divorce where you cannot agree on anything with your soon-to-be-former spouse? You might be embarrassed to admit to family and friends that matters have become tedious.

In the United States, the average divorce costs $15,000 in legal fees, and couples tend to separate more during the holiday and new year season. For those looking for a fresh start in life without the hefty price tag, more and more couples are looking for more cost-efficient ways to cut the cord. Our investigative reporter Jacques Godiva spoke with legal expert Alice Donovan to learn about an alternative to litigation. “In my opinion and experience, litigation requires more time, energy, and money than what most people anticipate. Couples rarely come away from the process feeling like each got what they deserved on fair terms.” Donovan recommends that couples consider mediation. “Mediation is the facilitation of negotiation and resolution by a neutral third party. The meditator helps the couple navigate toward an informed settlement that is privately agreed upon by the family members, rather than publicly in front of a judge.”

We reviewed several divorce mediation firms based in Orange County and were so pleased to find McNamee Mediations that we decided to highlight them here. Mediation specialist Colleen McNamee has a stellar track record and one of the best Yelp reviewed profiles we have ever come across. One of the many five-star reviewers explains how mediating through Colleen had been the best decision she made throughout her divorce:

“I learned that I could a) hire a lawyer, (and he hire a lawyer) and we go through litigation in a very public court room setting with the risk of a bitter fight and be completely drained financially with money we really don’t have, or b) find a good mediator and dissolve the marriage amicably, peacefully and as budget friendly as possible.  I looked everywhere – and found a couple mediators, but none that were as responsive, capable, knowledgeable, calm and professional as Colleen.  I cannot speak highly enough about her.  She is on top of every single detail.”

Photo of McNamee Mediations - Irvine, CA, United States. 2016 Top Legal Power Players in O.C.

If you are considering a divorce through a family law attorney but want to first explore your other options, you can give McNamee Mediations a call.

McNamee Mediations
4590 MacArthur Blvd #500, Newport Beach, CA 92660, United States

Just the Facts on Divorce

by | Dec 16, 2019 | Family Law

Here at the Clute Institute, we stick to the facts and don’t let emotions get in the way. That rule applies to everything, including emotionally heavy subject matter like death, war, and divorce. The fact is, these things exist, and we need to have a way of analyzing them to figure out why they happen and what we can do to best avoid them in the future.

That being said, here are some facts about divorce:

  • While the divorce rate has lowered from its 1980’s high of over 5 divorces per 1,000 people to around 3 divorces per 1,000, it’s estimated that the divorce rate for all marriages is still 50%
  • For first-time marriages, 41% end in divorce. For second marriages, the statistic jumps to 60%. For third marriages, it jumps once again to 73%.
  • For first-time marriages that end in divorce, the marriage typically lasts around 8 years
  • The wife is far more likely to initiate divorce, with women initiating proceedings 75% of the time
  • Divorce rates have more than doubled for people aged 50 or older over the last twenty years

With this knowledge in hand, we know that divorce is not at all a rare occurrence, and every one of use knows at least one person who has gone threw a divorce or grew up in a household where a divorce occurred, if we did not experience this ourselves. The reasons for divorce typically come down to a lack of commitment, too much strife, infidelity, or a lack of reasonable expectations in our relationships, no doubt influenced at least in part by unrealistic portrayals of love and marriage in the media.

If you ever find yourself in a marriage whose end is clearly in sight and about to add to the divorce statistics, you need to know exactly what it is you need to do. The law, as always, is enigmatic and impenetrable to those who have not trained for years in how to interpret it, which means that finding a solid attorney is the logical first step to protect yourself and your family. A good attorney can mean the difference between being out in the cold without a shirt and living at least reasonably comfortably in your new single lifestyle.

For those of us looking for Divorce and Family Law Offices in Orange County, the Clute Institute recommends the Shuff Law Firm, a father-daughter law team that has been operating in the county for the past 45 years. That kind of experience is nothing to sneeze at, and when it comes to attorneys, experience and a mastery over the field of law being practiced go hand in hand.

Many current and former clients have provided testimonials and feedback over the years, leading to a shocking full 5 star review rating on Yelp. The firm’s attorneys are noted as being not only extremely professional and diligent, but also very caring and personally invested in their clientele. Read this review by Laura K. to get a feel for the kind of work they provide:

Read Laura K.‘s review of Shuff Law Firm on Yelp

If you’re looking for a family attorney in Santa Ana or the Orange County area in general, you can’t go wrong with a firm that has nearly 50 years of history and experience.

Shuff Law Firm

(714) 834-0175 2107 North Broadway, Santa Ana, CA 92706